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Happy New Year Dear Friends!

A new year always feels like a time of contemplation, taking stock of what lessons the last year brought and what I would like to see for 2023.  I shy away from the tradition “resolutions” and like to ask myself the question: “How do I want to loving occur for myself to be my best self?”  This practice reflects my desire to guide others to be able to heal from the past and to live from their truest Self, in the present moment.

This is where the healing can begin, by shredding away roles/masks that are not you and finding out who you truly are at your center.  Some roles/faces that you might wear are parent, teacher, life coach, mechanic, friend and so on.  Some maybe necessary to a certain degree but what if you could insert a little more Authenticity into these.  It takes a lot of energy and taxes the nervous system to be something that you are not. 

In gaining more self awareness you start to build curiosity instead of judgement, and enquire within about; where am I altering me, what and where do I feel it in my body when I do this, who does this occur with, all without judgment.

I invite you to practice the above with self compassion and savor the discovery of your limitless Self and the freedom in the expression of your truth.  It is the best gift you could give yourself.

Please contact me for a free 20-minute consultation to see how Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems can help you on your path to health and wellbeing.

Yours in Love and Light,

Caroldean Jude, SEP

The measuring of your painful experiences to another’s and deeming it not as “bad” is a form of self-rejection.   This comparison and negating of your history are a reinforcing of being not enough to have your pain acknowledged as important.  Self-judgment squashes your life energy and keeps you in a stagnant pattern that thwarts your growth and maturity. There is always going to be someone that has suffered more, lost more, was injured more than you, and this does not discount the affect that your life’s challenges have had on your mind, body, and spirit.

Taking stock of and in the recognizing how you are occurring for yourself,  that the seeds of healing can be sown. It takes a lot of effort to be in the energy of self-rejection, and I invite you to be curious about these old ways of living. Try to notice how touching briefly into, instead of negating old wounds, feels like in your body.  What would be possible in your life if you were to repurpose that energy towards self-love and healing?

Starting to treat yourself with more kindness and understanding will change your beliefs, affect your choices and will build your self-agency.    I know that you deserve more love, joy and vitality in your life, and what has happened does not have to colour your future.  Turn towards yourself and your past experiences, as it has made you who you are – a beautifully resilient human being.  Share this new love generously.

Have a wonderful holiday season, slow down, enjoy more and breath deeper, your nervous system will thank you!

Please feel free to contact me for more information on how Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems can help you in your healing process.

Dear Friends,

The measuring of your painful experiences to another’s and deeming it not as “bad” is a form of self-rejection.   This comparison and negating of your history are a reinforcing of being not enough to have your pain acknowledged as important.  Self-judgment squashes your life energy and keeps you in a stagnant pattern that thwarts your growth and maturity. There is always going to be someone that has suffered more, lost more, was injured more than you, and this does not discount the affect that your life’s challenges have had on your mind, body, and spirit.

Taking stock of and in the recognizing how you are occurring for yourself,  that the seeds of healing can be sown. It takes a lot of effort to be in the energy of self-rejection, and I invite you to be curious about these old ways of living. Try to notice how touching briefly into, instead of negating old wounds, feels like in your body.  What would be possible in your life if you were to repurpose that energy towards self-love and healing?

Starting to treat yourself with more kindness and understanding will change your beliefs, affect your choices and will build your self-agency.    I know that you deserve more love, joy and vitality in your life, and what has happened does not have to colour your future.  Turn towards yourself and your past experiences, as it has made you who you are – a beautifully resilient human being.  Share this new love generously.

Have a wonderful holiday season, slow down, enjoy more and breath deeper, your nervous system will thank you!

Please feel free to contact me for more information on how Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems can help you in your healing process.

Yours in love and light,

Caroldean Jude, SEP

Hello Friends,

I have just completed the first module of SSR training, based on the book “Somatic Resilience & Regulation, Helping Clients Move Forward from Developmental Trauma”, coauthored by Kathy Kain, PhD, and Stephen Terrell, PsyD.  The training itself was a creation of a “safe haven”, that was supportive to us as clinicians, in learning the tools for us to go forward and share with our clients. The experience was life affirming, full of hope and learning of more tools towards helping our clients heal from development trauma.  The wounds of childhood do not have to be a permanent fixed state.

Somatic means the body and as little somatic beings from the beginning, you had to rely on your caregivers for survival.  Sometimes your caregivers are misattuned to your needs, and you start to form a somatic narrative that the world is not safe place.

This can be carried on as you develop, often concluding that the misattunement of your caregivers is somehow your fault and that you are not safe.  For example:  Mom/dad/grandma are always mad at me, ignore me or hit me, there must be something wrong with me.  As a little person you cannot blame your caregivers for what is occurring as you need them to survive, so it must be your fault.  As a result, neural pathways are often developed in response as survival mechanisms.  This can show up in different ways from early childhood into adulthood as hypervigilance, social withdrawal, high startle responses, not being able to trust in relationships, gut issues to name a few.

This is somewhat of a simplistic explanation of how developmental trauma can show up in your body, affecting your life.  Humans however are very resilient and what has happened to you, does not have to be carried and is not permanent.  I offer a safe space to gently explore these feelings, emotions and nervous system patterns.  Together as a team we can work to heal and nurture your wounded parts, create a sense of safety and capacity for your present and your future.

You do not realize how wonderful you are, let’s find out….

For more information on how Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems can help you in your healing journey, please do not hesitate to contact me @ 250-215-0080.

Yours in love and light,

Caroldean Jude, SEP, IFS Informed

Mental health struggles do not show. PTSD, chronic anxiety, depression or grief all can hide behind the seemingly “I’m fine” exterior. At the very core of life, nothing is more important than our physical and mental health. Especially now, the global crisis that we are living through, which is taking its toll on both. When we reach the moment of “when this is over”, there is going to be lasting repercussions of its effects, especially in our nervous systems. We have an unseen threat (Covid-19), and our nervous systems are trying to make sense of the fight, flight and possibly collapse (freeze) energy in our bodies. We cannot see the threat, but feel the danger of it and the nervous system stays activated or “on”. This leads to ongoing stress, and adrenal fatigue, which can show up in the body as chronic fatigue, anxiety, irritable bowel or leaky gut syndrome.

There are a few exercises that can be practiced at any time when you feel disconnected from your body and/or some parts of it lack sensation.

1. Making a “Voo” sound. It is a low vibratory sound (think foghorn), centered in the abdomen. This gentle vibration slightly mobilizes the digestive tract, providing feedback to the vagus nerve system to begin to “unlock” that frozen/disconnected feeling. Take a deep slow easy breath filling up the belly, and as you breathe out make the “Voo” sound, letting it come from the abdomen. Repeat this 3 times. Notice the sensations that arise in the body with curiosity. You can do this by yourself or practice this with a partner.
2. Notice one of your hands. Attend to the sensations and awareness of the skin, muscles and the bones of one hand and then compare it to the other. It is a simple way to demonstrate how creating awareness of a body part leads to more awareness of what is occurring in the body as a whole.
3. Body awareness in the shower. When you are having a shower, do a body scan focusing on which part of the body the water is flowing onto. Noticing the temperature, pressure, and weight of the water on your head, shoulders, and each arm/hand. Allow the sensations or lack of sensations to be felt in any way they are occurring. This is where curiosity instead of judgement is helpful. We do not need to judge anything that is experienced, or categorize it as “good” or “bad”.

Have you ever had the experience, in the rush to get ready for going away, only to get sick when you finally arrive at your holiday destination? This is the body’s signal that we were pushing too hard and not paying attention to our physical and emotional health. Practicing compassionate awareness of the feelings in your body, is essential for wellness on the other side of this global pandemic. Be kind and curious, allow your feelings and emotions to be in the body and ask them, “what do you need right now?” , “what do you need me to know?” I know it might feel a little strange at first, but often there are parts of us that just need to be acknowledged and not pushed away. By attending to what needs to be seen/felt with compassionate awareness, you will create more resilience in your nervous system, leaving more energy for the business of living. Listen, be curious and nurture you, there will be a life after the pandemic is over and you will want to be ready to live it with vitality!

Yours in healing,

Caroldean, Somatic Experience Informed Practitioner,

500 RYT, Trauma-Informed Yoga Teacher

In my journey to become an SE Practitioner and now studying the Internal Family Systems modality, one of the pearls of wisdom I have learned is the ability for us to listen within.  Listening is a skill in life that has its challenges, when trying to hear others, as well as, practicing hearing what needs to be heard from ourselves.  I have certainly found this in my own healing journey especially when strong resistance arises, which more often than not, is a big signal to listen in with even more patience and compassion.

It starts with awareness of our self-energy, or seat of consciousness, and inviting in the neutrality of being a witness of your inner world.  It is a reconnection to self, attending and nurturing with compassion what has been trying to get your attention for some time.  A simple checking in with what works for you, to reconnect the lines of communication with your self-energy. The practice of meditating, yoga, walking or being mindfully still without distractions is a start. I like the metaphor of tending your inner garden, allowing the plants that support the whole to be kept and gently weeding out those that do not.

Healing starts with our willingness to practice listening and welcoming the unwelcome emotions with curiosity and compassion.  One must practice locating where these emotions are living in the body and ask the question “what do you need to tell me?”   It is a brave thing to welcome in these emotions, cultivating and being curious about what might need to be tended to.  To quote Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, “Again and again forever, these things are hard, but we can do hard things because when we do, we finally become alive”.

We can do hard things. In creating that openness and curiosity by allowing ourselves to be aware of and feel our emotions, we can reconnect and heal ourselves, communities and the planet.  You are worth the listen.

Transitions in life are filled with feelings that are uncomfortable, uncertain, exciting and can also be lengthy, boring and feel stale.  It can encompass all the flatness of a prairie landscape to experiencing the exhilaration of climbing a mountain peak.  In 2020, it has felt like trudging through a marathon of highs and lows of the many terrains in life.  Sometimes feeling lighter in my body, growing, learning, expanding my awareness and sometimes feeling like I am stuck stagnating at the bottom of a valley pond.

This year, for all of us, has felt like a difficult labor of life, all of us on the valley floor watching and waiting for the windy storm of an unseen virus to pass through.  Patiently or often impatiently, anticipating the dying down of the wind so that we can look up safely, letting our bodies and psyches to come out of nervous system freeze.  When we can acknowledge, allowing the storm to be just as it is in the body,  we can then invite in and have the energy for curiosity.  Allowing what is yours to be held with compassion and releasing the rest.  Going forward into 2021, can you come into the practice of being curious, softening the edges of resistance, to what you do not want to feel?  

This past year has been a metaphor like the caterpillar transforming into the butterfly, a struggle of becoming, slowly changing and not being able to see the beauty of it until the end.  We are like the caterpillar now, collectively ,as a global community, in the energy of this breathtaking transition.

In these first few days of 2021, I want to practice loving the struggle of this transition and seeing the amazing depth of courage and resilience of the human spirit.  How can you hold your personal transition through this time with more self-compassion and curiosity?  How can you patiently show up for yourself in a way that does not override emotions/feelings that want to be felt?  Emotions that perhaps have been patiently waiting to be attended to. Beginning as many times as you need, with gentle kindness, to listen into what you need and give yourself that gift. 

Underlying all of this has been the palpable aliveness of change in the air, holding hope for a more aware, connected and benevolent society.  The shifts of change are now sparked in each of us and we are now more alive and connected than ever. Transformation begins within each of us,  you are resilient enough to thrive through this storm, I believe in you.  Happy New Year Everyone!

Yours in love and light,

Caroldean

My word to start out this year was “intentional”, and while I was able to fulfill some of that intentionality there was a big pothole on 2020’s road of life, called Covid-19.  At first it felt like the zombie apocalypse without the zombies, I was anxious, on high alert in anticipation of what would happen next and then felt the freeze seep into my body.  And we were all frozen, life as we knew it just stopped, society screeched to a halt and hospitals around the world filled up.  Certain businesses, just had to close, people not working, not earning, not spending, not visiting, still and sitting with uncertainty.  The news and social media were filled with dire warnings of this new, rapidly spreading, no cure virus, all us having to just watch and unable to fight. 

Traumatic Stress:  The response to shocking and emotionally overwhelming situations that may involve actual or threatened death, serious injury or threat or physical integrity. 

The Curse
I was able to make some sense, because of my Somatic Experience ™ training, what was happening to my nervous system and to the nervous system’s around me, we were all like an antelope caught by a tiger and frozen in a self-protective freeze.  It was in this shared experience that I felt more connected to my fellow humans as we globally were in this together.  We together were, no matter who, rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, trans, fighting an unseen enemy and being affected ALL at the same time, in different ways by the same unseen tiny virus.  Then watching the news became a nervous system trigger, seeing images of dead bodies from hospitals being stored in refrigerator trucks, because there was no room in the morgue, and the unceasing rising numbers of new Covid-19 cases.  Seeing myself and others as “germs” was really foreign to me, and started to miss what I had taken for granted, regular social interaction, hugging and teaching yoga in person.  Those simple things, in their absence, started to become more precious, and with each passing day more missed.  It was then I deeply questioned what was important in life for me.  I had to ask myself, “What messages, social constructs of what I previously thought life should look like – no longer fit? “The internal messages of; “more is better”, “try harder”, the badge of “I am so busy”, started to look very unimportant and a waste of precious energy. 

Then came the death of George Floyd, the spark that lighted the constant smoldering fire of social injustice experienced by the Black Community, to a national bonfire.  The anger, pain and rage of this shared globally, the excessive police brutality, the underlying racism in the USA starkly exposed, piled onto the stress of a world pandemic.   All of us vicariously traumatized in witnessing the last minutes of Mr. Floyd’s life, horror at the sociopathic action of the police officer, the cold detached disregard for another’s life seeping away under his knee.  The other officers standing by looking on for almost nine minutes was also horrifying to watch and as I saw it on my TV screen my throat felt an urgency to scream and I wanted to take action, to yell and push off this white officer who was killing a black man so coldly.  

Vicarious trauma – the emotional/physical residue of witnessing a horror, pain or suffering of another.

I felt the mixed feelings of gratitude for the capturing on film of this tragedy, compassion/horror/sadness for the direct standers by and for the person who witnessed and filmed the murder.  I knew that by capturing that solid proof, even though the perpetrator was a policeman, he murdered George Floyd period.  Justice though swift was bittersweet.  Though George Floyd’s death leaves a terrible vacant hole for his family,  it has been a catalyst for change, creating a stark look at the underbelly of police brutality and racism.  The ensuing riots, violence on both sides, stories highlighting African Americans being unfairly targeted by police, guilty of nothing but being black, highlighted my own white privilege and guilt. It was hard to watch and at the same time I could feel the shift in the collective, the beginnings of no longer being able to ignore what has always been there.  Just maybe an acknowledgement of injustices and the beginnings of increased acceptance for all (black, brown, sexual orientation, etc.)  might start to be more deeply integrated now.  I attended a Trauma-Informed Yoga Training during this time through Collective Resilience (Hala Khouri and Kyra Haglund) and had a further awarenesses come to the surface, of what being in a black body down in the States is like.  Where folks, who are law-abiding citizens, well-educated, are afraid to walk the streets for fear of being targeted just because they are black.   Even though I acknowledge the change will not be fast, maybe it will be more lasting and old prejudices will start to unravel.  I will never forget the poignant words of George’s daughter, Gianna, when she said; “My Daddy changed the world!” 

Falling on the heels of this came the 2020 US Election Campaign, which was another eye opener for this Canadian as I had not really paid that much attention to US politics before.  The nervous system stressor for me was seeing the angry and sometimes violent polarization of our neighbors down south and I had to renew my commitment to self to get updates, in little bits, from the news.   I am grateful that the election is over, and no matter who you support, I am sending our neighbors down south, continued wishes for healing of polarizing sides, peace and unification as a country for 2021. 

I know that as a white woman, my optimism might be viewed as naively idealistic, and there is probably some truth to that, as no one can completely understand another’s bodily experience (especially a white woman) unless you live in their brown/black skin.  Not to single out our neighbors, I am also very aware that Canada is not without its own ongoing racism horrors presently and historically, especially for the Indigenous Communities across the country.  Racism is unfortunately everywhere, has many faces and we are being called now to look and see with the renewed eyes of awareness.

The Blessings
Life was still moving forward and during this time, I was able to complete an Intentional Communication Course, Intermediate year of Somatic Experiencing®, two Trauma-Informed Yoga Trainings, two Somatic Experience™ Master Classes, and I started teaching yoga online through Zoom.  I have gained gratitude for Zoom as it has enabled us all to look at life and connection through a new lens.  People started working from home, were able to keep jobs, reducing commuting time, their carbon footprint, and be closer to their families. The air pollution around the world decreased and we were able to see that Mother Earth can rebound and rejuvenate if we give her a chance. The lasting gift will be our collective, heightened awareness of our shared struggles, our shared tragedies and the beautiful connection with each human that we all share

My intention is stronger than ever, to be working as a trauma therapist through sharing Somatic Experience™ healing, Trauma-Informed SE based Yoga, to my own and the global community.  I am still continuing to gain knowledge in trauma therapy and will be taking further trainings in 2021. My dream is to give people the opportunity to regain their nervous system regulation, reducing anxiety, stress, PTSD, creating renewed vitality by coming out of nervous system freeze and gaining self-confidence and agency.  When there is healing, there is hope and I believe this year has been the small beginnings of a greater global healing.   

The blessing of awareness is once you have seen atrocities, you can no longer un-see, and at the very least, let this year be just that.  To keep seeing, keep feeling, talk about what we have learned, and not to go back to sleep again.  We are all simply human beings more alike than different, with lives, dreams, loved ones, and all sharing this beautiful planet.  Let us all keep awake, get curious, mindful about our own prejudices/biases, and question what we have always assumed to be true. Let us get back to what is important; our health, our family, friends, sweet connection, being stewards of Mother Earth, and the balance of work and life. Not living to work, but to work to live.  Let us all be brave in seeking our own paths of truth and healing, as our healing is part of the collective’s healing.  

 
I send you all love, hope and healing in 2021!
Caroldean

We all are good at overriding our nervous system, to push more, be more and try harder.  We have all received the message, at one point, of “buck up and soldier on” in response to a reaction we are having either to a physical or emotional hurt.  Think back to a time either as a child or adult when you were having a reaction to being hurt and the message received, either overtly or by a gesture, that you were not allowed to express it. How many of us received this  “shaming” of an emotional reaction that might be uncomfortable for other people to see and why does this still prevail in our society?  This discomfort of “too much” of an emotion/feeling, wanting to be expressed, then shows up in our own relationship with ourselves.  We internalize the shame and then practice “stuffing” and hiding, even to ourselves, our uncomfortable emotions.  This also sometimes leads us to want to hide this from others, judging our feelings as “weaknesses” not to be seen or heard.

The times we are living in and with, has been a gift of awareness and reflection of this prevalence in myself and others.   I now give time to practice not contributing to my own suffering, giving welcome to what needs to be seen, heard and felt in my body.  This time has also shown me what this disconnection from self has cost me.  When we cannot hear ourselves we cannot hear others.  We have seen during this time how connected we truly are, how each of us is important in our own beautifully unique way and how much we are social creatures.  When we can change the practice of tuning out to tuning in, welcoming the healing integration of past hurts and traumas, we have access to our own life force, creativity and increased capacity to give and receive love.  

Somatic Experiencing as a student, practitioner and as a client has shown me how frozen I have been, and the practice of overriding what my nervous system wants me to express, no longer works.  The disconnection from self is the disconnection from our fellow humans.  The time is now to revel in our global community connection.  The time is now to practice self-compassion for ourselves, reach out to our fellow humans and be the stewards that mother earth needs.  Give power to the whispers within.  You no longer have to be silent.  Let them become loud and as messy as they want. Taste the freedom and healing of their expression and renewed self-love.

Yours in love and light,

Caroldean