Hello Dear Ones,
I know that this is a subject that can be difficult to acknowledge to oneself, let alone talk to others about. I want this to be a safe space to put into words the difficulties that can arise in life due to the misattunement of our caregivers in early life. Shame is a byproduct of us taking on the emotional burden/responsibility of our childhood mistreatment, when it is not ours to hold.
Shame’s Burden
You might have wanted to hide your emotional struggles, physical pain that there is no explanation for or even give up and isolate altogether. Shame might be playing a role (hidden in the background) here. Our society in general does not offer a lot of credence to intangible pain, emotional or physical, though I feel this is starting to change. The silent message is that if you cannot see it, it is not real. There is an old saying that applies here: “It’s all in your head.”
The shame response that I am referring to is when people feel shame for their supposed “weaknesses” of depression, anxiety and/or chronic physical pain or fatigue. That somehow your mental or unexplainable physical health struggles are your fault and proof of your inability to will yourself into wellness. Every human has at some point, has had to live with the above so why is there still a stigma in our medical based world, that unless there is a definitive label/diagnostic criteria, there is a underlying message of “weakness” of character. This in of itself reaffirms the underlying trauma, and compounds the shame burden.
I have hope that soon there will be more awareness around trauma, that it is more physiological than psychological, and shows up in different ways in the body/mind/spirit. That there will be more tolerance and support for people during all of their dark days, and for the ways that pain has manifested in their lives. That we will be living in a world were there is more acceptance, compassion and access to healing modalities that might not be considered conventional.
Finally, I hope that as individuals we feel free and empowered to seek and receive the help (whatever that is) we need, without the pall of shame. I feel it coming, even in these uncertain times….
For more information on how Somatic Therapy can aide you on your path towards healing, please book your free call with me.
Yours in healing,
Caroldean Jude,
Somatic Trauma Therapist
Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner
Transforming Touch® Practitioner
Internal Family Systems® Therapist